nigger, ____________

by Alphonso McGriff

someone asked me . . . why you still usin' the word nigger? they said, " i
kinda figure you were a lot bigger than one who pulls that unnecessary,
nasty, and classless verbal trigger." i said, remember Kunta Kintae? when
they named him toby. 'beat him bloody 'till he agreed, broke him down to his
bones and his future family seed . . . made his mother, sister, and his whole
family beg and plead that he be freed, and indeed . . . they too conceded,
their African name was no longer needed. they named him toby.
that's the same as nigger to me.

they said, "that jungle language, you don't speak in my presence, forget
about your true African essence, just grunt and be meek, look and act weak,
back up and bow down when i'm near, and it's my language, english i want to
hear." well, i know those from italy speak italian. those from france speak
french. those from spain speak spanish. but as an African i can only wish . .
. so, now english is my first, second, and third language, my preferred
language, a fraudulent and absurd language. and for Africans in america, our
true dialect is an unwanted and unheard language. as long as i speak english
of america and not Zulu of the Nguni,
that's the same as nigger to me.

they named me black;
the european's first word upon seeing the original man.
a color, cast, hue, pigment, shade, tint, tinge, dye, or permanent tan. a
sixties solution to second class citizenship, as we celebrated being "black
and proud," while chanting stokely carmichael's "black power."  though this
instilled a sense of pride in you and me, "black" is no man's true identity.

they named me negro;
one who is not ashamed of being a ho' fa' mo', money that is,
platinum, gold, lexus's and jeeps.

they named me minority;
one who is smaller, or less-than, defined as every person who is not a white

they named me African-american;
one who's idea of making a stand is taking on the traditions and beliefs of
the european man.

they named me person of color;
one who is willing to be anything other than an African man associated his
own language, culture, and home land.

they named me preacher;
one who, like past sambo's, disseminate lethal blows of massa's
version of HIS-story, a censored segment of scripture as the solution to
salvation and spirituality. one who passes a plate laced with personal
visions of a golden throne that steadily rises over the heads of the misled
masses while openly canceling any commitment to the first commandment. . . an
idiot or deviant dummy, duped into dispensing destitute messages devoid of
true deliverance, carelessly doping we up with a soiled, religion filled
syringe, they say is good for humanity, while actually sowing senseless seeds
of hopelessness and insanity
to the minds of the African masses.

they named me leader;
one who is a breeder of the greedy, a creator of the needy, forever
soliciting from the sleazy and seedy system of dangling carrots, that keep
Africans endlessly debating in circles about what is owed and not thinking,
and paving our own African road.

they named me celebrity;
one having no integrity, surviving as lost souls for sale who hold nothing
sacred, 'cause we be indoctrinated with self hatred . . . while havin' the
nerve to be flashin' we with cash and keys to cars and other luxuries, not to
motivate, but to cultivate envy, jealousy, and pointless rivalries, at the
same time, never really seein' how we all bein' bamboozled and addicted to
material mess, merely to impress fellow shallow
negroes that control nothing . . . so, the goal and what's good means gettin'
paid and makin money, even if it means breakin' in and takin' money. and then
we spend it. . . not in our community but with enemy, who gave us this
selfish, european identity. the same one who told us we had no history,
eventually defining, naming, and creating who it is we be. they named us
americans . . .
that's the same as nigger to me.

so, as we remain lost and lethargic in our feeble attempt at finding freedom,
a war is being waged for the minds of our children. and we contribute to
their death, when we continue to support and pass these enemy lies,
traditions, names, and false history to our future family seeds, and not
embrace our own African Ancestors, unity, culture, values, history, and
African family needs, and as our own African dream is never defined for we,
our children will just continue to be owned, and answer to massa's name, toby
. . .

and, forever. . . ignorant niggers, we will continue to be.

January 13, 2000


TRUE DEMOCRACY     SPRING 2001     Copyright © 2001 by News Sourse, Inc.